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Words Like Knives

In All, Mental Health, Self Esteem, Stories by Aware

For the last five years I struggled with my sexuality.

For so long I thought there was something wrong with me, something that if I told anyone would cause all my friends and family to reject me. It seems stupid now but the damaging effects caused by keeping our darkest secrets locked inside of us can be near irreparable.

We refer to bad things as “gay” everyday. For some it’s a natural response. The effect of hearing what you are as a negative describer everyday for years, I don’t know, it drilled into my head that I was an abomination. It was my struggle with this that drove me into a depressed state. I could find nothing about me that I thought was good. I almost committed suicide on multiple occasions.

It wasn’t until I began to slowly get better that I finally talked to someone. Now I do my best to help others.
This was a two sided experience for me. I had to learn that there was in fact nothing wrong with me, something I still struggle with; and I had to learn that the very words we use on a day to day basis can be damaging to someone.

 

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