You don’t realise how much you don’t know until someone tells you.
One of my best friends and I weren’t hanging out as much – the reason being that his behaviours had slowly changed over time, and we just had really different values. Some of the stuff he was doing made me not think as much of him as I used to, and as time went on I would get more and more angry about it. The whole time I didn’t even think about why he started acting differently, and we can both admit now that he had changed for the worse. It wasn’t until about a year later that we reconciled and talked it over and I found out a few things which really put the whole situation into perspective. He had depression which had been getting worse over that year, and the things he was doing were coping mechanism for that.
Another one of my friends started not hanging out and going out as much as he used to. Every now and then as a joke, we’d call him things like, ‘weak,’ ‘lame’ or a ‘pussy,’ for not wanting to go out as much, and he’d spend time with us less and less. What I didn’t realise, again until we finally talked about it, was that we were actually contributing to why he wasn’t going out – he had severe anxiety and actually made him feel more and more uncomfortable to leave home until he finally told us about what was really going on.
So really what I want to say is that there is way more than just what you think of the situation, scenario or change in values in someone. So try to ask that person what’s really up before coming to a conclusion about them because you don’t know if you’re actually being a part of the problem.